K's Story: "I believe that fear, shame and secrecy only create more trauma and fear".

I have been hearing voices for most of my life. I am currently 51 years old and a trauma survivor.  As far as I can recall, I first became aware of the voices when I was in my late teens to early twenties, which coincides with the first instances of abuse.  As a child I was extremely shy and lived in my own world of imagination.  My youngest brother who is 4 years older than I am was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in his mid- teens, which of course was extremely upsetting and traumatic for everyone in our family.  I also learned many years later that one of my female first cousins developed schizophrenia in her late teens, close to the same time my brother became ill.

When I began to hear voices, I made up my mind that I would never tell anyone, because I was afraid that I would also be diagnosed as schizophrenic.  From the very beginning I was very curious as to why I heard these voices.  Some of my theories were: hearing voices of people who were deceased, mental telepathy, angels or spirits, stray radio signals which my brain was somehow able to pick up, and mental illness.

About 10 years ago, I was diagnosed as having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and was also diagnosed as DDNOS (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified). I have been taking medication for 10 years as treatment for depression and anxiety disorder, which has not had any effect that I am aware of on the frequency or duration of hearing voices.

Although I still don't make it widely known that I experience internal voices, I feel that I have come to terms with it very well. I no longer worry about the cause, and tend to simply view it as part of who I am as an individual.  I am hopeful that one day there will be much less social stigma attached to the phenomena and that more people will be able to feel comfortable in disclosing their own experiences.

I believe that fear, shame and secrecy only create more trauma and fear, which can become a vicious circle of self-loathing.  Much love and appreciation to those who are working to dispel the myths and misinformation which surround this very fascinating subject!